


Old Wounds

by Rhang



Series: The Undying AU [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bottom Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Emotional, Established Relationship, Fluff....kind of, Kissing, Longing, M/M, Nightmares of the past, Nostalgia, Tagging this one was tough, longtime lovers, past angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:54:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22122928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhang/pseuds/Rhang
Summary: Sam didn’t know what to say or what to do as years of memories flooded back in that second.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Series: The Undying AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625938
Comments: 15
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First fic of the new year!!! I thought I'd kick it off with something touching. 
> 
> Title and opener are from [Old Wounds by PVRIS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Exl9aFzBY0).
> 
> Any mistakes are mine. I’ll fix them in time.
> 
> Do enjoy.

_“I think I could love you ’til the day that you die,_

_If you let me love you when the timing is right._ _”_

– _Old Wounds_ by PVRIS

* * *

The café was still bustling from the morning rush. The order line was thankfully not still growing so things were slowly slipping into the afternoon and lunch time hush. Sam grabbed the drinks for his newest table from the barista and delivered them to their table. He checked on another table briefly before he went to drop off the bill to his earliest table that morning.

It was like any other shift on any other day; something to do, something to keep busy. He’d had other jobs in the past – many in fact – this one was one of the interesting ones. The patrons of the café that he got to meet were fascinating, eclectic people. The regulars provided familiar faces and friendly conversations throughout the week as well.

Sam rolled his shoulder and thought to head to the back to get a few sips of his coffee when he heard his name.

“Morning Sam,” he heard as he turned to see the familiar blue eyed blonde named Steve.

“Morning Steve,” Sam offered back with a touch a casual in his tone. Steve was a regular of three months; he came in generally twice a week and was a good tipper. “What’s up?”

“Well you know same old, same old,” Steve said smiling warmly.

“Don’t I know it,” Sam agreed.

“My offer is still open you know,” Steve mentioned.

“And what offer would that be?”

“Taking you to dinner,” Steve said sitting forward in his chair as he looked into Sam’s eyes.

Sam smiled and shook his head. He had to hand it to the guy, he had tenacity. He’d asked Sam out two weeks ago while the two had run into each other randomly at the grocery store. Sam hadn’t accepted, but he hadn’t exactly said no either so Steve’s check for confirmation was partially on Sam. But Sam was more or less used to people hitting on him or asking him out.

There was Erik that came in on Saturdays and would make the early morning shift more interesting and Misty on Mondays, but those were just playful flirts. Sam had even gone as far to play along a few times to make the others laugh. It was all in good, lighthearted fun. But Sam could read a look better than anyone; Steve was more of the type that looked for a genuine chance with him. While Sam wasn’t with someone currently…his situation was complicated.

“That’s very sweet of you Steve, it is,” Sam said softly to let him down easy.

The front door of the café opened and someone walked in. Sam threw a casual greeting over his shoulder to the person, saying he would be with them shortly.

“But I have this thing…it’s complicated. Now’s not the right time,” Sam explained.

Sam examined the look on Steve’s face as the rejection set in.

“I understand,” Steve said softly in acceptance. “I hope whatever you’re going through gets easier.”

Sam thought about it and felt his heart pang. “Yeah, thanks,” Sam said softly before stepping away to find the newcomer that had come in.

Sam turned to greet the new guest to the café at a table nearby and suddenly felt night time grass and long gone scents come back to him as he looked upon the person seated there smiling at him knowingly. Struck speechless in that moment, Sam didn’t know what to say or what to do as years of memories flooded back in that second.

“Hey,” the dark haired brunette said in greeting.

“Hey,” Sam whispered softly. “You’re here.”

“I’m here,” Bucky whispered enchanted all over again looking into Sam’s eyes. It had been a while since he’d seen Sam’s face but there was no forgetting him or the emotions that welled up within him being in his presence. “Been missing you.”

Time decided right then to resume as the barista behind the bar called Sam over. Sam snapped out of it and remembered he was at work. Bucky paid attention; patiently waiting to hear Sam’s next words.

“I still have a few hours in my shift,” he told Bucky. “Meet me back here in 3 hours?”

“Of course,” Bucky said softly with a nod.

Sam nodded back wishing he didn’t have to walk away from the other so soon upon seeing him again but he had to get his mind back on his job. Sam walked back to the counter to see what the barista needed of him as he glanced to see the door of the café closing and the chair once occupied now empty.

* * *

Waiting outside of the café after returning Bucky stared up at the sky as he tried to calm his heart and even his emotions. He’d expected all the emotions when he saw Sam again, but he didn’t expect to feel the same feelings he’d had when he first met him so long ago. Despite their long history, the years they’d spent together, Sam could still make his heart race like a childhood crush.

Sam stepped out of the café with a bag on his shoulder and Bucky straightened up as Sam’s eyes rested on him.

“Hi again,” Sam greeted him.

Bucky wanted to hug him, pull him close. “Hi,” Bucky said simply.

“I don’t know if you’re in town for a short stay but I live close by. Want to come over?” Sam offered.

“Yeah, sure,” he accepted.

“Okay. It’s just a short walk,” Sam said leading the way. Bucky kept pace with him as Sam asked, “What have you been up to?”

As they walked to Sam’s place, taking their time, Bucky talked about his travels; where he’d been, what he’d seen, and how he’d been spending the last year and a half.

When they arrived at Sam’s place, Bucky was surprised to see it was a humble, one story home. Sam invited him in and they took off their coats.

Bucky looked around taking in the interior of the home.

“It’s not much, but I figured I don’t need much anymore,” Sam explained as if he knew exactly what was on Bucky’s mind as he looked around his home.

“It’s perfect,” Bucky added looking over into his eyes. Bucky slipped his hands into his pockets. “How have you been?” he asked. It had been so long but he never quite got over how weak in the knees Sam could make him.

“I moved here maybe five years ago, found a job I could stand and decided to settle down here. The rest is just the day to day,” Sam explained looking at his hands as he fought the urge to get closer to the other man. 

Bucky tucked some of his hair behind his ear and nodded in understanding.

“The feeling’s come back,” Sam said looking into Bucky’s eyes. “I’ve begun to feel…empty, you know? Not being able to experience change.”

Bucky knew exactly what Sam was talking about. It was the same feeling that had motivated him to seek Sam out; to get closer to him after so long.

“It’s a little sooner, but _30 years_ was what we agreed upon right?” Bucky asked checking with Sam.

Sam looked at blue eyes reminded of the facts he suppressed daily to keep himself going: He wasn’t from this time, neither of them were. Each of them were in fact _425 years old_. The man before him was unchanged, no different than when they’d parted roughly thirty years ago.

“It’s been refreshing, our time apart,” Bucky said stepping closer to Sam as he looked down into his eyes. He dropped his voice a bit before he said, “But I’ve missed you.” He watched Sam’s expression, his body language and felt his resolve weakening being so close to him.

Sam searched his eyes and sighed. He pulled Bucky close and pressed his lips against his. A brief tentative touch as he heard Bucky sigh deeply. Sam pulled him close and kissed him deeply. Like a high dive rush, kissing the other was a step back in time, _every time_ their lips touched. Bucky touched at Sam’s back as he leaned into their kiss. He was back in the old country; stealing quick, precious kisses at night under the moon after a busy day of averting their eyes and trying to ignore one another as Bucky worked for Sam’s father as a plaster laborer. Sam felt swept back in as moments and kisses long gone came back to mind.

Sam pulled back to breathe and touched at the ends of Bucky’s hair. Bucky caressed at Sam’s cheek with his prosthetic hand as Sam closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

“Every time, without fail,” Sam whispered with a soft smile on his lips. “Every time you kiss me I remember that evening.”

Bucky smiled and brushed his nose against Sam’s.

It was the evening Sam approached him after a day’s work doing renovations at Sam’s family home. He was just about to leave for the day after speaking with Sam’s father about the plans for tomorrow. Sam had been waiting in the hall to pull him aside. James averted his eyes from the other young man. The last thing he needed was to lose his commission for making eyes at the patron’s son. But Sam flirted, did his best to strike up a conversation as Bucky tried to keep his distance. Sam mentioned how James would watch him and how he’d noticed; that made James’ heart race as he apologized if he offended. Sam shook his head and wondered if the handsome mason even understood what Sam was trying to do. He’d been home only a month from studying overseas but James had caught his eye the moment he saw him.

They’d spent the evening talking, getting to know one another and leaving each other enchanted. The sky had begun to brighten as the Sun was nearing its rise when they realized they’d talked all night. James knew he had a long day ahead but he couldn’t be mad how he’d spent his resting hours.

_“I enjoyed our talk,” Sam said softly, so taken by the soft spoken creative._

_“As did I,” James whispered watching Sam’s lips._

_Sam’s eyes grew heavy as he leaned in. “Do you wish to kiss me?”_

_James flicked his eyes back up to Sam’s to question the other. Sam was kind but was he really interested in him that way? The way he was interested._

_“Yes. Yes I do,” James confessed, laying bare his desire for a taste of the other._

_“Then take it,” Sam said simply._

James pulled him close and brushed his lips against Sam’s making his heart race before he kissed him softly. When they parted, Sam looked with new eyes upon the other and felt his heart respond with a simple, ‘ _yes_ ’ as James continued to touch his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A love years in the making.


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky decided to stay for dinner. He cooked for Sam despite the other saying it wasn’t necessary. Though Sam didn’t like the other going out of his way, Bucky enjoyed doing mundane, everyday things with him. On his own he didn’t care much for the ritual of eating and sleeping but by Sam’s side things regained their meaning, a bit of their novelty.

With food in his stomach and wine on his lips, Sam eyed the other quietly from his seat at the table across from Bucky. The Sun had set outside and the lowlights in Sam’s dining room made the space cozy. Bucky swirled the last bit of wine in his glass as he finally felt at ease again, no longer nervous but comfortable again before the man he loved.

“Are you expected somewhere?” Sam asked gently, ready to receive whatever answer he was about to get. “Is someone…expecting you?”

Bucky looked up into brown eyes and shook his head. While he’d had relationships during their partings in the past, never once did he return to Sam tied to another. Sam owned his heart, being with him dwarfed all other connections.

“Are you?” Bucky asked staring.

“No,” Sam said comfortably.

“Good,” Bucky said pleased.

He brought his glass to his lips and drank the remaining wine before he stood to his feet. He offered Sam his hand to take and waited. Sam took it and rose from his chair to leave the room. Wine bottle and glasses abandoned on the table as Sam shut the lights off and they retired to his bedroom.

The hot press of lips against his back, the caress of the other’s hand against his thighs made Sam’s skin warm and prickle with anticipation. He closed his eyes and grasped at the pillow beneath his head as he tried to stay calm. But how many nights had he longed for James? Hoped and prayed the other would return to him. He debated often during the past thirty years setting out to search for Bucky but he always decided against it. Their time apart was for a reason. It gave them a chance at a break. He didn’t know if Bucky was taking the time to enjoy himself and Sam couldn’t bring himself to interrupt that despite his heart not wanting anything else but the other this time around.

Kissing his way down Sam’s back Bucky reveled in the softness of his love's skin. Sam hadn’t changed, his scent was still one of Bucky’s favorites. Their bodies would not know age, so kissing Sam’s skin was still just as exhilarating as it was back when they first made love months after they first met. Considering what they’d been through, Bucky counted his fortune that he could still hold his lover so close.

As Bucky held him close, made love to him, Sam was reminded of why he loved Bucky so much, being in his arms was unlike anyone else after so long. It amazed Sam how he could live so long and still feel the way he did about the other. It showed him once again that what they had was truly something only found once in a lifetime.

As he rocked his hips into Sam slowly, exacting moan after moan, gasps and groans from deep in Sam’s throat Bucky felt the depth of his love for the other come back. He whispered to Sam in the old tongue and felt the other clasp his hands in his hair sending chills down his spine.

Sam closed his eyes tight as he felt his body crest in his love’s arms. He couldn’t take it anymore. The physical aside, it was his words that touched the deepest, most tender, guarded part of Sam’s heart and it set him over the edge.

* * *

In a deep sleep beside Sam, Bucky was fairly certain he’d get a good night’s rest with his love so near. But when he realized he was walking in a dark field of tall grass at the dead of night he knew what kind of night he was in for. He tried to wake his self. He didn’t want to have this dream, not tonight.

He walked around looking for Sam but couldn’t find him. He searched tirelessly calling out to him. A gust of evening wind brought the scent of blood and Bucky felt his gut tighten yet again. He knew the outcome of this moment…but maybe this time it would be different, he thought to himself. He followed the scent until it grew stronger. He knelt down onto the grass to find Sam bleeding and hurt from an attack by some robbers. He’d begun to bleed out laying there in the fields before Bucky pulled Sam into his arms, the same way he had done those centuries ago. The tears came back on queue as he started bawling his eyes out. Sam was just barely there, but he clung to Bucky relieved he wouldn’t die alone somewhere unknown.

The pain was fresh and devastating all over again as he saw his love struggling to breathe in his arms.

_“Breathe baby, breathe,” Bucky encouraged him through the tears. “You have to breathe.”_

Wailing to the sky, Bucky asked why and repeated the question as he rocked Sam in his arms. He rested his forehead against Sam’s as tears flooded down his cheeks and touched Sam’s skin.

 _“Please! **No, no,** ” Bucky pleaded knowing Sam was about to take his final breaths. “ **Please** hold on, **please** hold on for me.”_ He begged Sam as Sam’s grasp on his clothes lightened up and his hand fell lifeless beside him on the ground.

 _“ **NO!** ” he cried aloud to the sky._ “ ** _WHY?!”_**

It was then he uttered the words that changed their lives. He cried to any being in the Heavens listening to be struck dead. He didn’t want to stay without Sam.

He was suddenly awakened by Sam hugging him.

“Wake up baby, wake up,” Sam pressed as he spoke to him in hushed but firm tones. Sam was shaken and haunted by hearing Bucky cry his name like that again. He knew Bucky’s nightmares were a thing, but Sam was sure they’d decreased over the decades. It had been a while since he’d known of Bucky having one.

Bucky opened his eyes and took a deep breath; glad it was just a dream. He held Sam a bit tighter in his arms and fought back the urge to cry. When Sam moved to look at him, Bucky sighed exhausted.

“Sorry for waking you,” Bucky apologized.

“What was it?” Sam asked wanting to know what Bucky was dreaming about.

“Same thing as always,” Bucky explained shaking his head. "It’s that night in the fields."

Sam sighed and knew that evening was traumatic for both of them but it felt cruel to Sam that they had immortality and yet Bucky still had to relive the worst night of his life well into his eternity.

Sam brought Bucky back into his arms and held him. Bucky rested his head on Sam’s shoulder and touched his hand to Sam’s side where he’d been stabbed so long ago; where he’d watched the life leave him. The skin was smooth and healed as if never touched.

“I’m okay baby,” Sam whispered to reassure the other. “I’m okay.”

“Do you hate me?” Bucky asked in a whisper.

“Why would you think that?”

Bucky moved and looked into his eyes. “For doing this to us, for being selfish, and instead of letting you go…we’re here,” Bucky explained feeling his throat tighten up. “Still here.”

The guilt had weighed on him heavily ever since they realized they couldn’t die, that they’d never know rest one day. It often crossed Bucky’s mind how maybe this wasn’t the afterlife Sam would have wanted; that Bucky was not the one Sam would want to spend his eternity with.

Sam kissed Bucky’s lips and touched his cheek.

“The years we’ve seen, together and apart, have been a gift. Despite the weariness from time to time, I can’t think of a better way to spend eternity than with you,” Sam confessed softly.

Bucky kissed at Sam’s cheek softly as tears dripped from his own eyes.

“Knowing you’re out there having an adventure or trying something new, and that you’ll one day come back to me keeps me going during our years apart,” Sam explained as he wiped the tears from Bucky's cheek.

“Same, my love. Same,” Bucky whispered as he brushed his fingers against Sam’s arm.

Bucky had the thought but was unsure of asking Sam just yet. He knew the answer he wanted but wasn’t sure if Sam would respond the way he hoped. He held Sam’s hand in his own as Sam placed kisses on his bare shoulder.

“Are you ready…to stay together for awhile?” Bucky asked softly hoping Sam would say 'yes'.

Sam moved back and looked in Bucky’s eyes and considered the question.

“I am,” Sam replied softly feeling better that he’d have Bucky by his side for a while. Even better that Bucky was ready to get back together. “I like my job at the café. I could get away with a few more years here. But did you have somewhere in mind?” Sam asked wondering if they'd take off to somewhere new and start all over as they'd done in the past.

Bucky smiled looking into Sam’s warm brown eyes and felt his heart overflow with love.

“No. We can stay right here for as long as you want,” Bucky said with a smile. "We’ve got time."

Sam chuckled as he shook his head and laid back down in his bed as he brought Bucky down with him to kiss him deeply.

They surely did have time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If your lover isn't whispering to you in dead languages while they hit it just the way you like do they _really_ love you??
> 
> LOL. Anyways, just something sweet to start us off in the new year. I had some time and wrote this yesterday. I hope it was a nice read, if so leave me a kudo and/or comment down below. :D
> 
> Author Note: Yes.....Sam died. He's immortal now and like he said, he's okay. I've already gone back and forth with my betas about it. Immortality comes at a price and it was met. Okay? Don't come for me in the comments, lol I love Sam Wilson too much to not do right by him. :D


End file.
